Pros Of Being Married

I like being married.  I always wanted to be married, even as a little kid.  Although I can't imagine why, my parents didn't like each other very much at all.  


One reason is faithfulness.  What is that you ask?  It is when a person stays (with their mind and body).  That is how I look at it, from a very simplistic view point.  They stay when it might seem easier elsewhere.  Faithfulness is a pro of marriage because each person can fail and succeed with the assurance that they will wake up tomorrow with that person still next to them.  It matters because you are investing in a life.  If you feel that tomorrow your 401k is going to crash, you get out now, but that is a crappy way to have to feel about marriage.  Faithfulness means you are investing in a person who is going to stay, they may come up and they may go down but over the long haul it is a gain.  


Which leads me to another reason.


I like being married because I get to see courage in action.  Courage was demonstrated to me when my husband took my hand, slipped a ring on my finger and showed me he agreed to love me even if I got old and ugly!  It took courage to admit that he would love me because he knew that he too would get old and ugly!  He showed courage as my belly grew with child and fear rose up in him that I might always look like that!  I might be one of the ladies that doesn't regain their shape after birth.  He showed courage by staying with me and looking for a brighter day.  Thankfully we found one when my kids were born and we could both breathe a sigh of relief that we had made it through that tough time.  My brave husband shows courage because every day that we are together he invests a little more of his life with me knowing that our time on this earth is short, and that one day it will come crashing down and one of us will die.  We, either he or me, will have to suffer the greatest loss on this planet and yet he continues down the course with me as brave as any soldier.  


I think another pro of marriage is the obvious, one that cannot be unmentioned, and that is, the behind closed doors part!  This is a part of life and a part of marriage... I won't unmention it because I am a Christian but I also won't get creepy or loose on you here either because I believe that what goes on back there behind closed doors is holy, and beautiful, and fun and totally none of your business... except to say that it is a part of marriage that is a PRO!  


Another pro is that I get to live with my very best friend.  We share history.  Granted sometimes my memory is short and I forget our history.  It is history regardless of who forgets it!  We have it together.  Remember the time that we... remember when so and so did this... do you remember that old what's her name... and on it goes.  We get to have that together.  We get to giggle at the inside jokes that only we know and would take a lifetime to explain to anyone else.  We get to pick each others zits in the moonlight and marvel at the grossness of our human predicament.  We get to fight and make up.  We get to be a team.  There is stuff that I am better at.  There is stuff that he is way better at.  I like that.  He isn't threatened by me because he doesn't have to be.  I don't need to be as strong as him, I like it when he is better at things, and smarter, because he is my husband.  Why would I marry an idiot?  What would that say about me?  (insert big laugh here!)  Yet, he knows I am smart, and likes that I am because I am the other half to his team, and he wouldn't marry an idiot!  Sound familiar?  


Those are just some of the reasons why I think marriage is great.  It is what you make it.  Sometimes it is harder than other times.  On the other side of a hill is usually a downhill.  But there is no other person that I would rather share this ride with that him.  My sweet Mr. P.  

Strengthened by a Home School Veteran

I am a home school mom.  My children are small, which means that I am not a veteran, I am a soldier in the midst of a war, a battle.  This makes it sound so bad, so unappealing, which is not what I am trying to do.  Let me clarify before you think I am crazy and stop reading.  

As a mom who stays home with her kids 24 hours a day, who is responsible for feeding, training, loving and schooling her kids, it can get a bit overwhelming.  I hear the phrase, "how do you do it?" or "I couldn't do that!", from mom's who think that being with their kids all day would be torture.  It is true that it is difficult, at times.  There are times when I am unsure what to do next with my kids when they are bickering or when they are displaying some ugly, sinful behavior, or when I simply would rather be doing something else.  But I stick with it.  That is why I say it is a war.  Home schooling can be an arduous task, thankfully there are those who have gone on before me!  Those amazing people who have done excellently in training and schooling their children.  Oh how they give me hope!  I will call me the soldier and them the veterans.

 I have needed advise and none could be found.  I have been given advise I simply ignored or forgot.  In spite of this I believe that the input I have received from the veterans should be respected and heeded.  We each school our children differently but there are times when the advise seems to resound, to be repeated from different corners of the community.  Would it be foolish to disregard it and blaze a new and difficult trail?  Maybe.  Probably.

As a personal example, Mr. Robinson of Robinsoncurriculum.com says that we should teach the math facts to our young ones, and then start book work later, after they have the facts down.  As a new home school mom, one with no college experience I had to go so far as to define "math facts".  What are those exactly?  Embarrassingly enough, I really didn't now that.  Now I know and I know that I should have listened to this wise home school veteran!  The good news is that it is never too late to change my ways and humbly take the advise.

I started Saxon math in Kindergarden, I was intimidated because I simply didn't think I had the discipline to sit and do it every day.  I didn't know if the scripted format would work for me.  Turns out it did work and it eased my mind so that I didn't feel like I was missing anything or that my kids wouldn't be at the "level".  Two years of this and it began to feel a little slow.  I trust and respect Saxon and am not going to stop using it, I am simply going to put it away and take the advise of an older man who might have just known something I didn't.  I spent money on curriculum that I really didn't NEED.  Sure it made me feel better for awhile, sure it worked and my kids learned, but I could have done what I have done so far with a cup of pennies or cheerios, a calendar, and a pencil and paper.

This year I am choosing to abandon my text books and teach my kids the math facts, addition, subtraction, multiplication and division using our abacus, pencil, paper, and math-drills.com.  I love Saxon and will go back to it soon.  I will take the advise of Mr. Robinson and will pick it up again at Saxon 4/5.  I am comforted knowing that the advise of the veterans is proven and abundant.  If you aren't sure or confident in teaching your kids, I strongly advise you to check out the robinsoncurriculum.com site and reading the sections, The Independent Learner, Ann's Corner and the Robinson Story.  Read, read, read and find comfort and strength in the advise of a proven home school veteran.

Do you have any examples of learning the hard way with your home school?  Any examples of how you actually took the advise and were glad that you did?  Please feel free to respond to this post, I would love to hear from you.

Update To Our Barfy Vacation Budget Weekend

So, our camp out was a fail.  Hubby got home really late from work, I waited to start dinner until 8 pm. because I hadn't heard from him... we got the fire going.  Fire too hot, must wait a few... get food organized.  Put food in the pot.  Cook.  Let's get the tent out... don't fall off the ladder mom!  Whew, here we go... now how do we put this thing together?  Hurry up Daddy!  Still no daddy.  Slap the bugs.  Coat children and self in bug spray and rescue dinner from the fire.  Eat.  Run to house to get drinks.  Keep eating.  More bug spray.   Getting dark, where is daddy?  Daddy comes home and rushes to get tent up.  Slap, the bugs are really bad.

Needless to say, halfway through the night, I gave up on the camp out.  I took our toddler daughter up with me and then I proceeded to slap mosquitos all night from inside the house because apparently they hadn't quite had enough of me yet.

The birthday boy ended up looking like he caught a case of small pox the next morning.

Late night for us.  We all had naps the next afternoon.  Family nap time... wonderful.

Then, Friday, we tooted around the house.  Didn't do much of anything.  But when we went to bed I had had to reset my alarm clock which I set for pm instead of am... this resulted in a missed Farmers Market!  Darn, and I still ran down there just to check to see if they could fit me... nope.  It all worked out because we got to go to a free car show.  Eat a grilled burger for a song.  Go to the zoo and come home and basically have a wonderful day.  Over all it was a great weekend.  Good memories and we didn't even have to go in debt to do it.  Yes.  Total blessing.

And I got the compliment of making the very best cream cheese frosting ever.  Hubs got the, "you make the very best sherry cake ever, dad" compliment!  Double yes!

Home and family rock.  Jesus is our rock.

Barfy Vacation Budget Turned Beautiful

     A few years ago we "started" the Dave Ramsey plan... note the word "started".   We never finished.  We got debt free minus the house and the, um, well, you know, the credit card.  In truth we never decided to live within our actual means.

     I take full responsibility for this because my husband works long hours and (naively) trusts me with our finances.  I discovered garage sales.  Woe is my pocket book.

So here we are again attempting to be realistic with our finances after a lovely "come to Jesus" talk that we had to have.  You know the kind that I am talking about, the one where there is just nothing left and we had already eaten out for the third time for the week.  Yeah, that one.  I had heard Dave rake some 40 year old couple about how immature they were for having the income they had and being as in debt as they were.  It was shameful and I was the one ashamed.

So, after doing our budget we realized that there would be so much for this and that, sounds good on paper.  After forgetting that our sons birthday was just two weeks away we realized that we would have to be spending SOME money, SOMEHOW!  Our plan had been to go camping (20+ dollars), had no gas in the van (30+) dollars, and needed one more gift  (20+) dollars.  Yikes.  We simply didn't have it... not even to rob from Peter to pay Paul... darn.

Usually at this point we get depressed, piss and moan, feel ungrateful and so forth.  That wasn't going to help us figure out what to do to give our kid a whopping good time and sure wasn't going to help our attitudes.  Attitude is everything.

Here is what we decided to do.  Camp in the yard.  This way we could do it for two nights instead of one.  We already have a can of weenies and have some hotdogs in the freezer.  Yes.  Then we got on ebay and found the overalls that my son requested (I already had a few $ left in our paypal account!) and we already have the Indiana Jones WII game that he requested hidden away in the closet that I proudly bought for $6 this summer.  Let me add that my girlfriend forced me to ask the lady to take less for the game which she did... so down from $7 we have our birthday gift.

The only other request that my son had was for a Sherry cake and since we will be camping at home it will be easy to make.  Yes!

This scenario led us to realize that I would indeed be home Saturday for the Farmers market and could go down and sell some soap after all!  Yes, yes, yes!  So see.  It can be done with a little creativity.  A pinch of good attitude and look what we are going to teach our kids.  Home is where it happens!  Home is where our heart is.